I have a complicated relationship with lasagna. It’s strange but true. If you are at all squeamish, or if you are really dying to eat lasagna tonight, I encourage you to scroll down the page and just get on to the recipe for the BEST paleo lasagna ever. You won’t hurt my feelings. I promise! But if, on the other hand, you are wondering how anyone could have a complicated relationship with lasagna, or you want to hear the most epic break-up story of all time, you need to keep reading.
The first time I ever had lasagna, I fell in love. I mean, seriously, what’s not to love? Rich, meaty sauce, ooey-gooey cheese, and pasta. PASTA! And don’t even get me started on the corners where the cheese gets a little burnt and the pasta gets a little stiff. You know what I am talking about? I have no idea why, but the corners are my favorite part. Yum!!!!
Pretty normal relationship with lasagna, right? But then, it happened. I went over to a friend’s house for a play date (I was seven at the time), and I totally ODed on the stuff. Come on, it was bound to happen eventually! I was up sick all that night from too much lasagna, and the experience turned me off from the stuff. For a reaaaaalllllylong time. I seriously didn’t have lasagna again until I was 16 or 17. The experience was that traumatizing! Meanwhile, my pasta-loving family continued to eat lasagna every chance they had. Never mind that I couldn’t bear to look at the stuff, let alone eat it!
So, what made me willing to get over my fear of lasagna? I can’t really say. But one day I remember noticing the burnt lasagna corners on my mom’s dinner, and for some reason, I decided to taste it. Just once. And eating that one decadent bite completely wiped away any negative feelings.
Now, I know what you are thinking? What does this have to do with the most epic break-up story of all time? Hang on, I am getting there…
Fast forward to college, and I start dating this guy (who shall remain nameless), and after a while I realize, “I don’t really like this person. I should probably break up with him so I stop wasting his time.” Only, it doesn’t work. I do the whole sit-down conversation, “It’s not you, it’s me” type thing, and after I am done, I feel totally emotionally drained, and he says, “So what are you saying?”
And I thought to myself, “Seriously?!?!? I just broke up with you!!!”
But here’s the deal. This didn’t happen once. It didn’t happen twice. It happened over and over again for two months! Two months, people!! I even broke up with him, and he then convinced me to go with him to a John Mayer concert “just as friends.” Yeah, right. The next thing I know, it’s raining and we’re standing there getting drenched. He’s trying to hold me and put the moves on me while John Mayer is singing “Your Body Is A Wonderland.” Not cool!
I was up against an emotional wall. I had broken up with this guy countless times, yet he still though we were dating. I finally asked him why, and he said, “Because Millason, I know we are broken up right now, but eventually we are going to get back together and get married.” Yep, that’s what he said, and so that was it!
That was the last straw. I did the only thing I had left to do. I told him the lasagna story. But not the way I just told it to you. It was in much more colorful detail about being sick all-night long. After I was done with the story, he just looked at me blankly so I blurted out, “And you’re like lasagna. I love you, but looking at you makes me sick!”
And that’s what did it. Comparing him to lasagna. Now, you may say I was heartless, and that’s fine. Since then, I’ve felt super guilty about comparing someone to lasagna, but I did what I thought I had to do in the moment. And, it worked! The one redeeming factor in all of this though, is I know at least 4 other women who have not been able to break up with a guy because he just wouldn’t take no for answer. Each of them eventually used the lasagna story. And guess what? It worked each of those times too! So at least I have helped rescue some women from domineering guys, and I can feel good about that!
****It’s safe to resume reading now****
But of course, that’s not the end of my complicated relationship. I continued to eat lasagna and love it, but once I decided to eat paleo, lasagna proved difficult. I tried countless recipes that I found on the web to make paleo lasagna, but none of them were ever satisfying. Most ended up too soggy (from the zucchini that I was using in place of noodles) and almost all just didn’t taste like lasagna. After all, it’s probably hard to make something taste like meat sauce, pasta, and cheese when you can’t use either pasta or cheese.
And that’s why I am so pumped to share this recipe with you today! It is hands-down, without question, the best paleo lasagna!!! I promise! That’s because it uses both paleo cheese and paleo pasta. Not veggies pretending to be pasta. But I also want to be honest and say that this dish can be pretty expensive to make because you have to use these specific ingredients to make it. So, unless you have an endless food budget, you probably won’t be making this every week. Sorry about that! But when you do make it, it will be oh-so worth it!
So, get ready to have your taste buds blown because this lasagna is absolutely the real deal!
Looking for the BEST paleo lasagna ever? Then look no further. Super meaty and oh so decadent! Oh yeah, and its not only dairy-free and grain-free but zoodle free too!
16 oz. grass-fed ground beef
1/2 white onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
6 oz. tomato paste
32 oz. jarred sugar-free marinara
2 pkgs. Kite Hill Almond Ricotta
2 eggs, beaten
1 tsp. salt
2 Tbsp. dried parsley
1 pkg. Cappello Lasagna noodles
Preheat the oven to 350.
Meanwhile, in a large cast-iron skillet, cook the onion until translucent. Combine the ground beef, sausage, and garlic and add to the skillet. Cook over medium-high heat until browned. Drain a little bit of the fat; I don’t though, and I have zero shame. Zero! Add marinara sauce and tomato paste. Bring the sauce mixture to a simmer and allow to cook while you do the other steps.
In a medium bowl, mix the ricotta cheese, beaten eggs, 2 tablespoons parsley, and salt. Stir together well. Set aside.
In an 8×13 baking dish, arrange 2 1/2 lasagna noodles in the bottom of a baking pan, overlapping if necessary. Spoon half of the “cheese” mixture over the noodles. Spread evenly. Spoon 1/3 of the meat sauce mixture over the top.
Repeat the noodle, “cheese”, and meat sauce layers again.
Refrigerate overnight or bake immediately for 30 minutes, or until the top is hot and the corners start to get burnt and crunchy. Allow to rest 1o minutes before slicing.
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